The act of being responsible for one's own happiness, well-being, and confidence.
By: Riel Fajardo
The process of building your self-confidence or self-esteem usually doesn't happen naturally. There is a tendency for people to find it difficult to achieve self-compassion and self-confidence. By definition, self-esteem – noun; “confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect.” (Oxford Dictionary). In essence, it is how you feel and think about yourself on a conscious and unconscious level. It is often said that people with high self-esteem feel confident and ready to take on the world, while those with low self-esteem always find it difficult to navigate relationships, their sense of self-worth, expressing themselves and navigating life in general. According to Dr. Jan Roberts, LCSW from her psychological standpoint, having low esteem typically reflects those hidden thought and beliefs that people might have about themselves.
According to his studies here are the most common reason why people have low self-confidence:
• Expectation from parents as growing up
• Social pressure
• Relationships, with family and friends
• Negative experiences from the past
Often, we hold on to negative memories, thoughts, and words of those around us. It becomes a filter of how we see everything as a result of those messages becoming embedded into our thinking patterns. But according to Dr. Roberts, having a low self-esteem is not a natural state of being.
HOW TO GROW CONFIDENCE
Boosting self-esteem and being more confident can be achieved in numerous ways. Identify the problem/cause
- You must get to know yourself to discover what makes you feel less confident, and you must change those patterns. In order to create new perceptions of the world around you, it is necessary to understand how low self-esteem is developed as a result of internalized messages and cognitive processing.
Create small goals
- Confidence can be built by setting small, attainable goals. For example, observing situations in your life that reflect poor self-esteem is a great first goal. Then, once you realize that pattern, you can take action to alter it, such as stopping self-deprecation or even complementing yourself in the mirror. In the end, these small changes will contribute to a bigger change.
Learn to love yourself more
- Self-criticism is common among people. When you are relearning harmful thoughts in your mind, remember to be gentle with yourself. Do not be hard on yourself and shame yourself for your experiences. Accept yourself and work toward positive change instead.
- Having healthy habits, such as eating nutritional meals, exercising regularly, sleeping well, trying new and different activities, and taking care of your mental health, is important. In this way, you'll be able to learn more about yourself, what interests you, and how to accept your shortcomings and faults.
Find your tribe
- When it comes to finding your tribe, you need to be honest with yourself about the kinds of conversations, connections, and social interactions that nourish you. Look for people who share commonalities or possess the traits you aspire to adopt. It is people who eventually inspire you and can boost your self-confidence so you can face the world confidently.
Ultimately, some people have a natural sense of self-worth and confidence; other people have to build it and discover it on their own. In the end, what matters most is the way you view yourself and how you respond to outside perspectives that occasionally shake your confidence. Accepting and telling yourself that it is OK to make mistakes, to fail and not to judge yourself too harshly for being imperfect. Insecurities may still exist, but you should be aware of them and not let them control your life.